Compelled

What compelled me yesterday to go for a bicycle ride in the middle of the afternoon when it's 99 deg in the shade (and probably 10 degrees hotter on the pavement)?  It was, by the way, only my third ride of the year.  Ugh!  For a devoted biker, it would have been the third ride of the week and for a moderately motivated biker the third of the month.  Third of the year?!  I had some concern about even surviving it at worst or being totally miserable at best.  Anyway, off I went.  But why?  

I don't need to lose weight.  I don't need to impress my wife, who, by the way, thinks I'm hot just standing there in my biking shorts - go figure.  So what was it then?  Well, I do actually like the hot summer weather and have enjoyed in recent years just embracing the heat and immersing myself in it.  I can't begin to explain this, so let's just leave it at that.  I also really love getting out in the country, which I am fortunate to have quick biking access to from my house.  There's so much more I can take in on the bike as compared to riding in the car.  The sound of the birds.  The sound of no traffic.  The sight of wildflowers growing in roadside ditches.  The smell of the grass and the farm fields and honeysuckle.  Yes, there is the occasional road kill, but I've learned to scan ahead and breath only through my mouth when necessary.  But what really compelled me was time...alone...to think.  And I've had a lot to think about lately.

I have learned that these rides are great opportunities for deeper thinking than I'm likely to do with all of the comfortable distractions around the house.  Why not something less...torturing you might ask?  You know - like a walk around the block?  Well, I have also found that the physical wringing out of my body can bring a spiritual wringing out of my soul.  As my muscles and lungs come to the end of themselves, so does my heart and mind.  Yesterday I was grappling with trying to understand why a certain strong desire in my heart was not being fulfilled.  There were a myriad of questions running through my head: Why, God, do I have this desire?  Why are there always road blocks to fulfilling it?  What should I do with it?  Let it go?  Keep holding on to it?  How do I address the frustration?  How do I approach the people who are frustrating me?  I didn't end up with final answers on any of these and wasn't really expecting to.  But one thing that did roll around in my head was this idea of "competing desires of the heart".  What happens if what I desire is not in alignment with what someone else wants?  And what if we are both Christ followers and both trying to understand and live the will of the Father?  Trying imperfectly of course, but yet still trying.  Can this really happen?  I mean, God knows what's going on in each of our heads and hearts even if we don't.  So why would He let that happen?  I know, this is one of those "Huh?" questions.  And you may say - "Dude, get off the bike and into the shade and drink some cold fluids until the pain goes away."  But - bear with me - it is an interesting thought.  Kind of like if/when Christians are praying against each other.  (I heard a speaker say once to consider whether you may be praying against someone else.)  My amazingly profound conclusion:  Well, obviously it can happen.  Simple Bible example is Paul and Barnabas and their different opinions about missionary journeys and journey companions (Acts 15).  Sometimes we will with all prayer and sincerity and soul-wringing consideration end up with strong feelings and desires that are at odds with others.  And it will probably create some conflict and doubts and pain - especially if life-long dreams are in the mix.  And I think I'm OK with that.  It's probably a better place to be than thinking that there is one and only one 'right' answer - because then someone has to win and someone has to lose.  So what I am left with is knowing that the Father knows all and (the tougher part) believing & trusting that He cares.  And if I do believe and trust, am I willing to accept the peace he offers - even if the desire is never met?  

One other thought I remember having came as I was grinding up a hill - that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made".  It seemed like a good motivating thought and I really wanted to focus on the 'wonderfully' as an encouragement to keep cranking.  But I admit I got stuck in the 'fearfully' - as in: It scares me a little the things I find fun to do.

So, I guess I'll plan for my next ride - hopefully sooner than the last given all that's been on my mind lately.  And maybe I'll start researching that other thing that's got my curiosity up: canoeing the Missouri River from KC to St Louis...      

A Big View of the Gospel

Our small group just started a study: The Gospel-Centered Life (GCL). (We're using a guide prepared by World Harvest Mission.)  The first lesson was about having a broad view of the gospel - to not view it as just a "door" into the Kingdom of God.  From the study:

It [the gospel] is not just the means of our salvation, but the means of our transformation.  It is not simply deliverance from sin's penalty, but release from sin's power.  The gospel is what makes us right with God (justification) and it is also what frees us to delight in God (sanctification). 

 A chart similar to the one below was included in the lesson.

(There's a more involved version of the Cross Chart here: http://thewonderofthegospel.wordpress.com/2009/12/09/the-cross-chart/ - very cool.)

So the chart shows how the sanctification process ideally should go.  As I move along in my journey, I become more aware of both my sin and God's holiness, and in so doing the cross becomes bigger and bigger in my life.  If I live without this awareness, then the cross stays small and sometimes I may not even see it bridging the gap.  While this doesn't completely describe the gospel, I realize that just keeping this in mind on a constant basis would radically change my life.

About the same time we started this study, I was prompted to pick up my copy of Watchman Nee's The Normal Christian Life.  (I have read the first few chapters of this before, but never finished it.  It's a packed read and as someone I talked to today wisely said: you need to let it simmer.)  Anyway, the first chapter of his book tracked with the GCL study.  Nee says:

The Son of God died instead of us for forgiveness: he lives instead of us for our deliverance.  So we can speak of two substitutions - a Substitute on the Cross who secures our forgiveness and a Substitute within who secures our victory.

I need forgiveness for my sins, but I need also deliverance from the power of sin.  The former touches my conscience, the latter my life.

I appreciate the blessed fact of God's forgiveness, but I want something more than that: I want deliverance.  I need forgiveness for what I have done, but I need also deliverance from what I am.

Nee goes on to expand on this, talking about the roles of the Blood of Christ and the Cross of Christ - how these result in our justification and sanctification, respectively.

The really key thing I need to remember is that Jesus provides both the forgiveness and sanctification.  How many times have I failed to grasp that I can take NO step forward without Him.  I think it's 'easy' to understand that I can't be forgiven without Him.  But if I don't remember that there is no sanctification without Him, the cross stays small in my life.  I miss out on living in His power.  Why would I ever want to do that?

Randy

Spirit of Christmas

As this past Christmas was approaching, I found myself overwhelmed with the feeling that I might miss out on the true “spirit of Christmas”. It’s an odd feeling for someone who knows full well the real Christmas story and the significance of the coming of Christ. At first I couldn’t figure out what the thought really meant. It did strike me at one point, though, that there can be a tension between the more joyful aspects of the holiday (at least in the way that we tend to celebrate them) and the true gravity of why Christ came (O come Emmanuel and ransom captive Israel). And the “spirit” I didn’t want to miss was seeing the entire picture – that what made the celebration so joyful was because of the need for a Savior. This may seem a bit profound to some, but I’ll admit that it is easy to go through the motions (even the “religious” motions) without giving much thought to the depravity of the world - of my own soul – that requires salvation.

Just yesterday I was reading on a blog by C.J. Mahaney something that really does this better justice than I have. (http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/Blog/post/Disturbing-Christmas-2009.aspx)

Mahaney quotes a 1992 World Magazine article on being “disturbed” by Christmas. Here are some excerpts:

Many people who otherwise ignore God and the church have some religious feeling, or feel they ought to, at this time of the year. So they make their way to a church service or Christmas program. And when they go, they come away feeling vaguely warmed or at least better for having gone, but not disturbed.

Most of us also have not come to terms with the baby in the manger. We sing, “Glory to the newborn King.” But do we truly recognize that the baby lying in the manger is appointed by God to be the King, to be either the Savior or Judge of all people? He is a most threatening person.

What should be just as disturbing is the awful work Christ had to do to accomplish the salvation of his people. Yet his very name, Jesus, testifies to us of that work.

That baby was born so that “he who had no sin” would become “sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” The baby’s destiny from the moment of his conception was hell—hell in the place of sinners. When I look into the manger, I come away shaken as I realize again that he was born to pay the unbearable penalty for my sins.

That’s the message of Christmas: God reconciled the world to himself through Christ, man’s sin has alienated him from God, and man’s reconciliation with God is possible only through faith in Christ…Christmas is disturbing.

Only those who have been profoundly disturbed to the point of deep repentance are able to receive the tidings of comfort, peace, and joy that Christmas proclaims.

After reading this, I realized what I was really feeling was a little disturbed – and rather than being concerned about that I could embrace it as part of the true spirit of Christmas.

Randy